PET Scan (November)

NEGATIVE! I think that speaks for itself!

The rest of chemo...and my last chemo with a twist! (August,September, October)

This part of my journey was tough. So as I went though week after week of chemo, I had to take more breaks from chemo than I could have even imagined. How long can we possible drag this out, well don't ask that question. My blood counts kept dropping and it took 2 weeks for them to recover each time. When it came down to the decision of if we should continue with both chemo agents or give one up so I could actually finish this mess, I decided to keep going full steam ahead with both chemo agents. Now was not the time to be lazy, this was it, the last lap of the race. I didn't want to regret not getting all the chemo I could. So we kept chugging... In the meantime, I had become a member of a new group, South Sound Women in Medicine (SSWIM) and had decided to volunteer to be a part of any breast cancer events they had going on. Well that turned into me and my oncologist becoming the breast cancer committee and organizing the upcoming breast cancer walks. Well once October hit, Breast Cancer Awareness was everywhere. Where did all this "pink" come from? Is it because I didn't have breast cancer previously so I didn't notice and now that I have breast cancer, it catches my attention? Or is breast cancer the sexy disease for people to care about. I mean there are a ton of diseases out there to support, breast cancer is a good one, affects so many men and women in this country and abroad, but I do feel that it is a super popular disease. Anyway, I went all out with my pink tutu my friend made me and everything and I walked a 5k 3 weekends in a row! These walks kept me busy and kept my mind off off of the long chemo journey that seemed like it would never end. My last chemotherapy was finally on October 13th (originally slated for the end of August)! I was waiting for this day all year, and I was excited, yet anxious. Happy yet depressed. It was weird. Everyone asked me if I was really excited but it was definitely bitter-sweet because chemo gave me a sense of security. I felt like I was safe while I was on the chemo and that I wouldn't be safe once it ended. It's the "what now" phenomenon and I have heard of many other cancer survivors who feel this way. It seems weird but its a common feeling. So I basically was in a bad mood that day, asking my oncologist to up the antidepressant because I was already feeling depressed. Then I went into chemo, just like any other time, except laced with vegan cupcakes with pink ribbons on them! My parents were there with my husband. As I was coming out of the bathroom, one of my friends and colleague came in and said "Yay its your last chemo"...and I replied with "Why are my eyes so itchy"...and before I knew it, I had 3 chemo nurses on top of me carrying me to the chemo chair and getting the IV Benadryl. I was having an allergic reaction to the carboplatin chemo drug. How you ask? Well even though I had it 10 times before that day, it apparently can cause an allergic reaction once a certain amount accumulates in your body. And I had not just any kind of allergic reaction, I had an anaphylactic one and had to go to the ER to be monitored after I was given a lot of steroids and Benadryl. I threw up my celebratory cupcake, my whole body was itching, I had a tingling tongue and my heart rate was super high. It was very scary, probably one of the more scarier things that had happened to me in this entire process. So what did I learn from this experience...not to complain! And not to worry with fear and be depressed waiting for a recurrence. I have to be thankful to be cancer free in this moment. No more need for antidepressants, I felt that this was God's way of saying, "Get over yourself and enjoy your life", and so I will.

It's my birthday month! (July)

Now if you know me, you know that I walk around the entire month of July informing the world that it is my birthday month! I haven't done that this year, I'm not too excited about my birthday this year for obvious reasons. I am waiting for all this treatment to be over to truly celebrate! My mom calls it my new birthdate...and in a way she is right, it is my new birthdate! When will that be, who knows! I have 8 more treatments left, that means 8 more weeks, as long as I have no more delays. I have planned a surprise trip for Matt for my birthday weekend, I know that sounds weird but he deserves a vacation almost more than I do! He has been super dad, super doctor, super husband and there is nothing more left, we need a reboot! I am surprising him with a seaplane ride to Orcas Island and we are staying at the Rosario Resort and Spa. Of course I am bummed that I can't have any spa services because of the chemo, can't get into the pool, can't get into a hot-tub...but it will still be great to spend so much time with my hubby all alone! And it was!